Neil Daigle Orians

Neil Writes Things

Occasionally, I write things. Some of these are published formally, some of them less-formally, and others are only on here. To commission something, contact me.

Posts in Personal
UConn School of Fine Arts Hooding Ceremony 2019

Even in my own kushy nonprofit arts administration job, I am never not working. Cultural workers are the pinnacle of hustle culture -- always working towards the next “thing”. Sometimes it can be self-destructive, I admit, and we do need to learn how to practice self-care. But at the same time, there’s something inside us all that pushes us to continue.

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Essay, PersonalNeil Orians
Aggressive Vulnerabilities, Part 2: Sympathy and Empathy

Sometimes, we don’t have control over these moments, and even those things we go through to fix or change them don’t fully work. I am on antidepressants and have been flirting with therapy (currently out of it but that’s an entirely different essay altogether about my lack of self care practices), but it’s not perfect. The remedies aren’t immediate, and they certainly aren’t always 100% effective.

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How I Became My Own Ex-Gay Therapist (Part 1)

Through prayer, shame, and self-abuse, I became my own ex-gay therapist. The therapy didn’t have a chance to go as far as self-harm, but I hated myself enough to feel like it did. I was terrified. I couldn’t imagine telling anyone about what I was going through. The idea of discussing something so shameful, so sinful, so sexual with anyone involved in the church was mind numbing in how much it scared me. This needed to be a cross I would bear myself.

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